A pig, no teeth, and one confused me….

I’m not sure what it is about the show My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding, but everytime I scroll past and one particular episode is on I am completely transfixed. I theorize that it is my brain trying to comprehend what it is that I’m actually seeing, and perhaps it’s just not possible to do because each time I walk away more confused than the time before.

How is it that this family can afford to have not one, but two wedding dresses made completely from fresh flowers by a woman they’ve flown in from Chicago?…but also be missing multiple teeth? Is it a lack of priorities? Do they just not value teeth? I don’t know. Were all those fresh flowers too expensive for the groom to afford a shirt to wear on his big day? Who knows? Why is that a pig carrying their rings down the aisle? I mean I really do like pigs a lot, but as cute as Speckles was I do not think he would’ve been my first choice for that job. 

As I walk away to begin dinner preparations, I’m left perplexed by how that exact episode has managed to take time out of my life once again. Is it the girl? The dress? The teeth…or the lack thereof? The pig? The pickup truck that carried the girl in that dress, and undoubtedly the pig too? I don’t know, but I think I’m going to turn the TV off awhile. 🙂

Painfully patriotic….

July 4th…the day we celebrate the independence of our nation by eating 150 million hot dogs, if the estimate I read is correct, followed by watching stuff explode. The one day of the year when parents are comfortable with placing a 3000°F stick of fire into the hands of their five year old children. Yep. That would be the all American way to celebrate if you throw in a little of Lee Greenwood’s “Proud to be an American”. It is absolutely impossible to not feel the pride and patriotism for our country on this day of the red, white, and blue!

As un-American as it may be, I had always refused to follow the tradition of allowing my children to carry around flaming sticks of fire. As I so often mention we are an accident prone family, and that seems like an open invitation for disaster to me. My husband, however, had always felt that Drew and Abbey were missing out. After many years of shameless begging he gave in and bought some sparklers. He can’t say I didn’t warn him. 

Under the brilliant stars while awaiting the show of spectacular color in the sky, I nervously watched as those sticks were set ablaze. They were beautiful. I had just begun to think that perhaps my stance had been a little too harsh on this matter. At that exact moment that the hubs leaned over, poked me in the side and whispered the words…do not scream or anything, but I think I burnt my thumb off! Sure enough, he held it up and all I could see was ash…and then I screamed. 

Fortunately, his thumb WAS still there beneath it’s charred exterior, but we all learned an important lesson that day. The Lowe’s need not play with fiery sticks to celebrate the birth of this great nation!

Yellow jell….sounds like a word with a “H” and a “E” and a double “L”!

Abbey and I are off to our Girl Scout getaway this morning…an action packed couple of days at an indoor water park! I fully expect to be able to produce a blog or two concerning our latest adventure! All the result of the hard work of massive cookie sales this year.

After watching Despicable Me 3 yesterday followed by a winner, winner chicken dinner at Zaxby’s, my son once again attempted to convince us that primitive camping is far better than our planned weekend getaway. Sadly, he does this by pointing out not the advantages of the beholding of a sunrise on a cool summer’s morning or the sunlight glistening off a beautiful lake. Nope. He points out a diaper they found full of “some sort of yellow jell” and a man who may or may not have been deceased “camping” in his truck that he never actually saw exit said vehicle. (do not be alarmed…he probably got out while they were observing a dead fish…sigh)

I assured  Drew that I would attempt to hide my disappointment at not having those….uhhh….interesting?….experiences while plummeting down vast water slides. I suppose I’ll just have to live them in a second hand sort of way the next time he returns from his own kind of adventures! Until then…slides and waves and a lazy river day here we come!

Could it be????

After an a couple of hours at the pool yesterday…which required a nap upon returning home…I was shocked (and a little suspicious) to be awoken by my husband with some unexpected information. Could it be real? Am I still dreaming? Is it ACTUALLY going to happen SO soon? I wasn’t sure…WHAT? You might ask…I’m referring to my long-time dream of moose observation!

As earlier mentioned, spotting a moose is on my list of weird stuff to do before I die. Having spotted one at an animal adventure park in a Facebook photo, just a mere three hours away from my home, has made that a possibility. The only issue being, there’s a decent chance that the hubby will be eaten by a gigantic bird, or something like that, because we are the Lowe’s and therefore we are disaster prone. Knowing this, the hubby has been understandably reluctant…so why the change of heart?

The Little White House apparently. 

Located in the same small town as my potential moose dwelling adventure park is The Little White House, which Andrew excitedly pointed out is the location where President Franklin D. Roosevelt used the natural hot springs for relief from his polio…and also where he later died of a stroke. I’ll take this time to point out that I suspect the hubs has a list of places where former US Presidents have kicked the bucket on HIS personal list of “stuff to see before HE dies”. He has a picture of Abe Lincoln’s death bed that I remember he was super excited to take a couple of years ago.

So…if the world of soft drinks can make it without him next weekend we may both be checking something off those lists. However, if I were being 100% honest then I’d have to point out that I’m not completely sure it was an actual moose in that picture…it could’ve been a mirage…or an antelope…or a deer…I can’t find the picture again…but I shall see!

Rent-a-teen…the wave of the future???

There are many conspiracy theories that abound between the four of us within the walls of our home. They can never be proven, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be hotly debated as was the case last night at my daughter’s birthday dinner. Dipping chips into our favorite salsa at the Mexican Restaurant that we practically call home, Abbey and I observed round #4,653 of these ongoing discussions. 

Now Andrew, my husband, can not confirm that he was the first to coin the term “Black Friday” or that he dipped his fries in his Frosty before others thought to do so, but that does not prevent him from humorously laying out his case anyway. My forever fact driven son Drew is sceptical. This never fails to be entertaining and only more so since at 16 he is wise beyond all imagination…in his own mind anyway.

Moving on from that topic, Drew proceeded to informed us of reasons why the Boy Scouts are far superior to Girl Scouts. This, in his mind, would be because they participate in “real” camping rather than frivolous trips to indoor water parks as is the plan for Abbey and I, along with her troop this weekend. I conceded to the fact that we typically do not do many camping trips. Considering those trips have so often included stories of dead fish, abandoned beer bottles, and unusual people hiking with doll heads on sticks for him, I do not consider that to be a bad thing. A fun water park with a nice room seems preferable…but then that’s just me. 

It was after that exact moment that Andrew uttered his most recent greatest idea, and I too believe it to be brilliant! Let’s start a “Rent-a-teen” business for all those couples contemplating having children, so they’ll know what they’re REALLY getting into. Drew was not amused by that joke as he drove home, while simultaneously educating us all as to why his ten minute longer route is far superior to the faster way we would normally take…sigh…youths. 😉

MS thoughts….

I love days when my energy level is high. Those are becoming increasingly rare as I become more resistant to the benefits of the medication prescribed that keeps me awake and going “normally”, but they still happen every now and then and I’m grateful. The only downside is the next day when everything is usually closer to normal again…BUT what a gift every new day is regardless of that! To wake up and taste blueberries for breakfast and watch another sunrise that is never a repeat of any before! It’s my hope that even on my worst days that I will never forget to be thankful for all that makes life so beautiful.

The lazy way….

I have officially reached an entirely new level of lazy. I seriously considered taking my son to obtain his driver’s license for the sole purpose of not having to drive him to his Boy Scout meeting last night. Sometimes I consider the fact that there are so many things I’ll miss when he no longer needs me to do them. Driving him to Boy Scouts will probably not be one of those things.

I find myself repeating the same things I often heard people say to me when my babies were first born…they grow up SO fast. I imagine they think the same thing I did which would be something like…I’m sure they do BUT that’s SO far away. It isn’t. One day they’re born and then you blink and it’s their 14th birthday…or they’re going to be a junior in high school. The days are long but the time is short. With that thought, maybe driving them around isn’t really too bad after all!